Abstract Many important decisions we make are related to people, both in life and in the workplace. However, it is not easy to see a person fairly. So how can you quickly judge a person through the first impression and then correctly identify (rather than miss) potential stocks...
Whether in life or in the workplace, many of the important decisions we make are related to people. However, it is not easy to see a person fairly. So, how can you quickly judge a person through the first impression and then correctly identify (rather than miss) the potential stock? The simple approach is to use external markers such as school grades, net worth, social status, job titles, etc. Social media has given us some new external scoring criteria: How many WeChat friends does this person have? How many fans does this person have on Weibo?
These external indicators and qualifications can only reflect one aspect of the person. Although important, they do not reflect the full picture of a person. Some subtle internal factors can better reflect the essence of a person, but again and again you are neglected. Work skills can be taught, but changing a person's personality and attitude is not that simple.
In contrast, judging external and skill-based factors is more intuitive and objective. It is much more difficult to measure the qualities of softness, such as will or attitude. In addition, face-to-face contact, careful listening and careful observation are essential.
In the past few years, I have been collecting and thinking about issues that will help improve the ability to identify others, especially in terms of personality and attitude. The following 10 key questions can help you better understand the traits and incentives hidden under people's appearance.
1. What is the ratio of time that this person uses to express and listen?
If the ratio of a person's expression and listening is higher than 60%, you should carefully consider that this person is too arrogant, unwilling to learn from others, or is it just a market, so that the words are chaotic and inexhaustible?
2. Is this person a giver of energy or a acquirer?
Unfortunately, there is a kind of person who carries and emits negative energy at all times, and there is no shortage of such people around you. There is also a kind of person who always exudes positive energy and optimism. There is an old saying in China that gives people a rose and a handful of fragrance. The givers of energy are compassionate and generous, and they are the ones you will immediately want to spend time together (to accompany you).
3. In the face of a task, does this person prefer “action†or “resistance�
Some people immediately enter a defensive, critical state as they accept the mission. Others immediately started to move into a problem-solving model. In most cases, you should be inclined to work with a second type of person.
4. Is this person's feeling for you true or trustworthy, or is it flattering?
Those false praises, like those who want to make a good impression on you, can't make people feel good. A really good person doesn't need to be a good person. Those who dare to be themselves are the delightful partners in the work environment.
5. What is the spouse of this person?
When interviewing important positions, one of my business partners gave me a wonderful idea: go out with the interviewer's spouse, partner, or close friends. As the saying goes, things are gathered together, and people are divided into groups.
6. How does this person treat strangers?
Look closely at how a person treats someone he has never met, which I call a "taxi driver or waiter test." Does this person show the generosity and kindness that it deserves, and is it possible to have an equal conversation with the driver or waiter? Or does he say that he ignores these people and even swears?
7. Has this person been beaten by the resurgence after the defeat?
Past experiences are important to a person. Our study found that two-thirds of the subjects who experienced financial or other difficulties during the character formation period formed a Guts-dominant personality in the later stages. The pioneering and persistent spirit they demonstrate is crucial in the entrepreneurial era. Compared with premature success, early failures and difficulties play an equal or even more important role in the development of the acquired personality.
8. What books did this person read?
Reading is thought-provoking, helping a person understand history, broaden his thinking, and stimulate new thinking. It can also help you keep up with current events. Although a bit biased, most of the interesting people I know love reading. Reading is the best expression of curiosity.
9. Can you bear the long-distance ride with this person?
This is also a variant of the "Airport Test". When I was doing my first job a few years ago, I heard about this hypothetical experiment: Ask yourself how your true feelings will be when you are sleeping with a person at the airport. Similar questions include, can you complete a road trip with this person?
10. Do you think this person has self-knowledge?
I believe that wise leaders must have a prerequisite, that is, a clear understanding of themselves. Can this person face up to his strengths and weaknesses? Can he take measures based on his own understanding? It is more difficult to judge this problem than before, but you can judge whether a person is humble, what he thinks, and what he is doing.
If you want to recognize a person and try to ask these 10 questions, or a few of them, you can see the whole leopard.
Anthony Tjan | Wen Kangxin Ye | Translation An Jian | School This article has abridged, the original text see "Harvard Business Review" September 2013 "Becoming a Better Judge of People".
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